Cabin Fever

Despite having 5 already, soon I hope to start at least one more additional blog. It will be with the blogs associated with my gmail address. So for those of you who care (the whole 3 of you that read the gmail blogs) it will join The Crazed Nerd and The Starving Writer. Working title for the one I'm definitely going to do is "The Restaurant Stranger." Once my lovely knee heals, I want to live out one of my ideas of an adventure and on some weekends, go and eat at some random restaurant. I hope to either have a sign asking people to join me, or simply ask them myself (the former gives me braver people) to join me. I want to talk and get to know these people and write a blog about it.

Now comes the question. Why? Well to be honest... I want to bring my old adventurous self back. The one that would randomly go up to people in college and start friendships. The one who was always up for some random trip somewhere in Sioux City with whomever wanted to go. The one I lost somewhere my sophomore year in college... when I became jaded, cold, and reserved.

I miss the flair for life I used to have. At first I thought this was me being nostalgic, or just having cabin fever from being stuck inside with my knee in a brace. No... this is something... stronger. I'm feeling more regrets in my life. I'm feeling a lot darker... I don't like it... at all. I want that electric charge of the unknown again. I want to stop feeling like I'm living a shell of a life and want to get to the heart of the matter. I want to make someone's day just a little more memorable and positive.

I've been grappling with my choir decision as well. On the one hand, I don't like the idea of not directing the choir in Garner, I do truly enjoy it. However, I also want to start becoming involved in a church that sees me as something other than the minister's son. I'm also looking into volunteer efforts... but so far...

It might be cabin fever... I don't know... What I do know, I'm so sick to death of the shell... I want the heart of life too!