Regroup and Reorganize

Lately I've been extremely depressed. At one point even borderline suicidal. Some people would probably chalk it up to losing my store and working in Garner again, but they'd only be half correct.

I worked a month straight without a day off. I've had a knee injury so I can't go up and down stairs and all my stuff that I enjoyed doing after work was downstairs. So I returned to my work/sleep rotation and did nothing else with my life. Now I've hit my 5 year mark with Casey's, and it hit me that this stupid job is turning into my career. You know what that feels like? One of my previous coworkers, I don't remember which one (5 years is a lot of coworkers in Casey's world) once told me that a customer came up to them and told them, "you look like a lifer," implying that they were going to be working for Casey's forever. I understand this feeling now.

In light of this, I started talking to my closest friends. I've told them about my feelings in this regard and they've given me some wonderful ideas. A change is needed, now whether that's as big as moving to CB and starting a new life there, or something as simple as setting up a podcast (as long as ninjo is my cohost hehe) that will have to be decided.

Right now I'm refocusing and looking at either finally starting my youtube (or twitch) channel, or doing the blog/podcast. (Incidentally, my blog is one of the ones you can see here and It's already in its creation phase). Either way, eventually, I'm going to do both. Now I'll still do the sign language thing and keep working on the act, but this is much faster and will give me experience faster.

I guess I'm writing this blog to thank my friends. I don't think any of you read this thing, but it's really helped. I'd name off names but as I think, almost all of your names start with J... weird... I used to hate people whose names started with J... but that's a paranoid quirk for another time. But I do guess one starts with N... but I digress. You all know who you are, you've been there when I've come to you seeking aid, whether I've used it or not... who knows. But you were all there for me when I needed you, even if it was just for a chat. I love you all.